How weird are internet dating sites? How much would you look down on me if I signed up for one? This is normal these days, right? Here's the deal: I don't live in a great area for meeting new people. Anybody from here can back me up on that. There's not really a central gathering place here. There are a couple of bars, I guess, but I'm not going to find a Rachel McAdams in one of these places. I'm not even looking for a Rachel McAdams. I'm just saying. I mean, I'm aiming pretty low these days. The last girl that horrible shot me down and obviously didn't recognize the greatness that is me, well, she was like a 4. I'm being generous there. She's the one that started dating that guy who thought the word "fond" meant hate. Yeah. Ok, she was like a 3. Still being generous.
And I know I don't need somebody, but it'd be nice, I think. And people are always saying stuff like, "it's not that great," blah, blah, blah. I think that's crap, for the most part. Everybody I know that is in a relationship always seems happier more of the time than not. And I'm not saying I want to get married tomorrow or anything. I'm just tired of hanging out with dudes all the time. No offense, guys.
Here's where the internet thing comes into play. I'm sure there are girls on there looking for the same thing. If it becomes more from there, then that's great. If not, that's cool too. And the internet thing is just impersonal enough to work for me. I'm cool after the ice is broken. I think I'm even a little E-charming. It's just the real life first impressions that I suck at. Being bad at first impressions and being in an area where there just aren't a lot of single, attractive girls is a bad combination. I'm like a shitty farmer trying to grow stuff in the desert. (Bad analogies are sexy, right?)
I think I'm in a good place personally for this sort of thing now. I'm comfortable with what I'm doing. The self-esteem is starting to slowly trickle back. The self-worth is there. I don't want to drive my car into a tree nearly as much. I don't want to end up being that guy. I watched two episodes of the Pickup Artist (gayest show ever, by the way.) I'm a basement shy of being that dude who starts every conversation with girls by saying, "did you guys see that fight down there? Yeah, it was two girls fighting over some guy named George." I don't wanna be the fat guy cliche. I'm tired of playing video games all the time. I'm a great guy probably. I'm taking better care of myself (or at least I plan to.) I'm even thinking about going back to church (after football season. I'm only human. I still don't understand why God made the NFL so damn successful and on Sunday if He wanted me to go to church.) Look at all that. I'm a fucking catch, no? Did I mention that I still live with my mom? Huh? Caaaaaaaaatch!
So give me some feedback on the internet thing. Is it weird? Not weird? Stuff like that. Michael, isn't this your area of expertise? I know it isn't college football. Ha!
And I swear to God if anybody comes on here and gives me some bullshit about how I shouldn't rely on other people to make me happy, I'll hunt them down and cave their head in with a tire iron and eat what comes out. Kidding, kidding (but seriously...I'll do that.)
And for your information, Anna, I could open like a billion sets if I wanted to. And yes, those were sarcastic italics.
If this post didn't make sense, I apologize. I was watching Wedding Crashers for the 963rd time. That's probably where the Rachel McAdams reference came from. And that girl was more like a 2-2.5, but that's ok because I wrote it in tiny letters.
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9 comments:
"She's the one that started dating that guy who thought the word "fond" meant hate."
Hahahaha, I remember this.
they're only as weird as you make them out to be. but just know this, you don't need a willing female to make you feel good about yourself-that's what hookers are for.
btw, i just watched the movie "let's go to prison"...fuckin' hilarious
My buddy Tyler has been on Match.com for about a month now and has got some crazy action from it. By crazy I mean tranny hookers....
(this is a long ass comment, but crammed with wisdom so listen up...)
Actually, I did quite a bit of research on those internet sites. Then, they started hiring their own data analysts and I got sick of looking at numbers anyway. But here's what I got.
1) Right of the bat, living with your mom is going to hurt you, especially in this arena because...
1a) You have to consider the type of women using these sites. My research showed that straight women are a fair bit pickier than straight men or gay men/women, especially when it came to education and something else that I can't remember off-hand but was probably either body type or religion. What does this mean? Well...
2) One could say that women on the sites are husband-shopping. Not to say that they're looking for a husband on the first date, but they want to screen through potentials from the start with a "shopping list". Sure, they (probably/hopefully) care about personality, but they want to start with a pool of guys who have a six-pack (as in abs, not Budweiser) and a Ph.D. Also, it's worth mentioning that...
2b) Even though women tend not to specify an income range they prefer in a guy (as it will make them look like a pigeon), using education is a "clever" way to ensure the guy has money, as the more education you have the more money you make. This way, they can screen out "poor" guys without looking bad. And this brings us back to...
3) You living with your mom and not having finished college. Not that there's anything wrong with that (especially since you're still in your 20s). So, for you this would mean...
4) Quite frankly, these sites are not worth the bother, in my opinion. The only real benefit is that you'll be out there meeting more people, which increases the chances of finding the right one. However, you'll not only have to suffer through a high proportion of bad dates, you'll have to deal with all that pre-date emailing back-and-forth for a week or two bullshit before you can even get a date. And that's assuming that potential women don't write you off from the start because you haven't finished college. And now for the dismount...
5) Overall, I expect it would just wear away at your self-esteem, or even any semblance of a positive outlook on relationships or life in general. That is almost certain, while the odds of finding someone special (other than in the short bus kind of way) are pretty slim. You have to ask, why are people using these sites? They're either really picky, seriously mental, or just haven't found anyone with whom they have mutual compatibility (your case). And chances are, they probably fall within one of the first two categories.
I'm taking the high road and bypassing the tranny hooker jokes.
Jesus, Michael. Care to kick me in the ball too while you're here?
Do it. I don't know how anyone meets anyone after college. I have not made a single new friend since I graduated 10 years ago. I think it is also great to be able to know lots about someone before you actually have to meet up with them and be disappointed. Also, you're a writerly type, and probably have preferences for girls based on this sort of thing and meeting online first--where everything is written--is a great way to figure out what's going on with that.
Living with your mom will definitely be an obstacle, however.
just tell everyone that you live with your "pet". that way IF you ever get a chick to come home with you they'll give you sympathy when they see your "mom" and ask you how old your dog is...
Look, you don't have to blare across the top of your profile, "HEY! I LIVE WITH MY MOM." Lots of people in their twenties live with their parents, and while it may not be the best opener, I'm sure that the right girl won't really care.
And while I don't disagree that some women on dating sites are husband shopping, I can't agree that it's a majority. Because, frankly, I bet a lot of women are dating online to cut through the crap...We've all been through a million bad dates and would like to weed out the freaks, assholes and weirdos before we're forced to share a table with them.
I agree with PN that your being the "writerly type" will work to your advantage; Because a huge part of attraction on these sites is just being interesting enough in your bio to have someone stop and read it. The boring ones - the barely filled out, cookie cutter ones barely warrant a glance, but a bio that makes her want to read or know more, or better yet, one that makes her laugh, is priceless.
As long as you approach it light-heartedly and don't think you're going to find your soul mate a la Eharmony commercials, it should fine. Will it be a knock on your self esteem? Maybe. But what good has NOT dating, online or otherwise, done for your self esteem so far?
And, listen: Not every woman wants, as it was stated above, a man with 6-pack abs and a seven-figure income. First, that guy probably doesn't exist, and those women of us who live in the realm of reality know that. Second, not every woman is into the Adonis type. It's true. I'm not. And, anyway, a good woman doesn't put all the importance on that anyway. If all she cares about is what your stomach looks like, you don't want her anyway.
So, in closing, fucking do it. I think it's great.
"Not every woman wants, as it was stated above, a man with 6-pack abs and a seven-figure income."
???????????
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