Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Don't you walk out on me, Self-esteem...

This has been the worst week in the history of weeks. I've had retarded car trouble with my new car that required shop time and me taking a day off work. I almost ran over a pot-belly pig in the city limits of the hillbilly town I work in. Work has me really stressed out. I can't sleep.

The other day I was at a meeting of area clergy. I was in line to fix a plate for lunch and this 739-year-old lady in front of me dropped her napkin. I picked it up for her so she wouldn't turn to dust or possibly die when she tried. She said, "Oh...I'm getting old." I responded with something like, "nah...you're not old." You know, the obvious lie. It was kind of awkward after I said that, so I followed it up with some small-talk. I said, "wow. I'm pretty sleepy. I need a nap when I get back to the office." This old fucking bitch turns to me and says, "you know why you're tired? It's because you're carrying all that extra weight on you." What weight? My gigantic dong? That's what I should have said to that old lady. Old people piss me off. She's a representative of a church, too. A church in a certain hyphenated town down the road from me.

Now I have a question. My second attempt at pathetic internet romance has seemingly fizzled out. It was all bacon and no sizzle. I'm not real sure if I used phrase right, but I heard it the other day and thought it was awesome. Anyway, she asked me about myself, so in my next message I wrote the novel that is the life of me, omitting bad shit and things that make me sound weird. So it wasn't that long, I guess. I'd say three solid paragraphs of greatness. I checked it today and there was a message from her. I thought it might be good, but given the way my week was going, I didn't have my hopes up. Good thing, too. Here's what she sent. Keep in mind that I just wrote quite a bit about myself and asked her questions about her.

"I went to (college we went to) for interior design, but I might be making a career change soon. Yeah, we might know some of the same people... (town college is in) is pretty tiny.
Well, sorry to keep this short but I've gotta run. Hope you have a great Halloween!"

I just got blown off, huh? Be honest. I've reached a new level of pathetic. I've also got a hunch that she doesn't care about my Halloween. She doesn't care about my Halloween at all.

4 comments:

Cory said...

Those are 2 different dirty towns. The school is hyphenated because they mix both dirty towns together to make a dirty school.

Michael said...

Yeah, that sounds like a blow-off. Sorry, dude.

portuguesa nova said...

Two potential girls does not a pursuit of romance make, dude. It's a numbers game. You're only gonna like 5% of the potential candidates and vice versa.

Anonymous said...

walk out on you? your self-esteem kicks you in the teeth every chance it gets...