E-jected: a new low

Oh I'm sorry. I was under the impression that women were looking for smart, funny guys. Guess I was wrong. I'm kidding. I gues she sensed the fat through the internet. That's how fat I've become. Women can tell by the way I write, I guess. It probably had something to do with my fingers smashing multiple keys at once.

I'm kidding. I know I'm great at almost everything ever. It just sucks that the stupid site shows me that she actually read it. Maybe she's just taking her time to craft a response that equals mine. Jeez...if that's the case, I'll never hear from her. Or maybe my description of myself/hobbies/all that stuff made me sound like a huge douche. I probably shouldn't have put "like Chris Farley, but with more sweat," in there. Oh well. Her loss or whatever you say when you try to pretend you didn't just get kicked in the e-balls.

And thus ends my internet dating experience forever. I shall put this up there with my other short-lived endeavors. Playing the bass, for one. Yeah, those were an awesome couple of days. They mostly consisted of me saying, "Cory, CORY, that sounded like Schism, huh? No? How about this time?" That might have lasted longer, but my amp was politely stolen by a black guy. I'm not saying there's a correlation between him being black and stealing my amp, but I'm also not NOT saying it.

This would have fucked with the old DB's head. Not now, though. I don't really care all that much. Does that mean I've grown up? No. It just means I'm slightly less of a douche than I was before. And that's all any of us can ask for.