I was in Gamestop earlier buying the newest Sims expansion (don't you fuckin' judge me...) I went with Chase, my roommate, who works there to get some phantom discount that never happened 'cause he's a douche. Anyway, the Gamestop here is apparently the Mecca of douchebags and retards.
So I'm standing there waiting on Chase so we can go eat when all of a sudden a more haggard, less toothed version of this guy comes out of nowhere. He decided to go ahead and invite himself on into my personal space for a little chat. Keep in mind that I've been nowhere near this guy the entire time we were in the store. I hadn't even made eye contact with him, I don't think. He gets really close and says, "You know what's funny about this dadgum country? We can go anywhere we want and nobody asks any questions about it. What if we were in Europe? You can't go where you want in Europe. People always want to know where you're going and why. But here, well, me and you could hop in a van and drive to Montana as long as we had money. Nobody cares what we do."
What the fuck? Did this guy just ask me out? How do you even respond to that? I learned my lesson about cross-country road trips with strangers. I didn't even really know what to say. I just said, "um, yeah...freedom. Pretty crazy." Chase walked up at this point and the guy turned to him and playfully poked him in the ribs. I think they may have a history. I didn't really want to ask too many questions about it. People makes mistakes...
So I've been thinking about the randomness and borderline inappropriateness of this guy all day. I'm sure he thinks it's ok to ambush strangers with pointless banter about how quirky America is. Then I started thinking about what I do. I bet I do a lot of things that seem ok and funny to me, but probably annoy the shit out of people. I can actually think of two cases tonight. One involved pointless Rock of Love shit and the other was leaving a voicemail for Cory asking if Jesus was a Warcraft character, what would he be? Please tell me I'm not an extremely more attractive version of this guy.
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4 comments:
1. I don't go to Europe very often, but I've never once been asked where I'm going while there.
2. You should totally rent the documentary King of Kong. It is wonderful on so very many levels and I'd love to hear your thoughts on it, being one of those young whipper snappers into the modern, new fangled games.
in that situation i would have said, "dude, and I wouldn't question you for getting out of my space very, very quickly." then i would have started counting from 5 backwards so as to let him know something was going to happen when i reached zero. you're too much of a homo to handle your business like that though...
[img] http://www.maj.com/gallery/ispeakvinglish/GIF/stfu.gif[/img]
PN - That's funny you mentioned King of Kong. We were just talking about that the other night. I still haven't seen it, but I'm going to soon. Seems kinda said that a guy is obsessed with the high score on an old game. That's like being the fastest telegrapher or the best rotary phone dialer.
Kenny - I think we both know I can't pull shit like that off. I'm too nice and adorable. I'm like a teddy bear. You, on the other hand, are a little intimidating at first since you kinda look like a mexican thug. Little do people know that you're a gigantic poon. But you know...the tattoos make dumb people think you're a badass.
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