Tonight in the store, a guy in a wheelchair asked me to reach something for him. He didn't ask in a nice way, though. He was pretty pissed off. "You should have stuff on lower shelves so people like me can reach them!" Sigh...Wheelies. What are you gonna do? I wanted to say, "Sir, is it the wheelchair that makes you smell that way, or is that your own doing?" I didn't though. I smiled and nodded and got him his fucking whateverthehell it was. He's right, though. We really should have more stores with two-foot tall shelves. That'd probably go over great. I should have danced a jig around him and then said, "See that? I didn't even enjoy doing that. That was boring to me. Oh well..."
Also at work tonight, I found a woman's drivers license laying on the floor. I was kinda busy, so I put it in my pocket fully intending to give it to somebody important. Well, I remembered I had it about 20 minutes after I got home. So now I have this drivers license laying on my desk, which makes me look pretty creepy. Don't worry. She's old...and not an organ donor.
I sometimes pumice my feet. Does that make me less of a man? I can't remember if I've asked this before. I've been doing it for awhile. I mean, I'm on my feet walking around all day and it takes its toll. If I don't do it, my feet look pretty gross. Kenny, does your mom pumice her knees? You know, 'cause of all the blowjobs she gives on a daily basis? Speaking of which, tell her I'm going to have to cancel this week. I've gotta start saving my quarters for laundry. Also, I'm going to call you Sunday, so answer your phone. We have business to discuss. I've found the perfect blog enemy for you. Maybe this is the one for Michael, though. I'm not sure, but one of you definitely needs to pick this up.
I watched "Lars and the Real Girl" earlier. You should all watch this movie. I'm not really sure why, but it was pretty good despite the fact that Ryan Gosling was in it. Speaking of which, I think David Arquette would have been pretty badass in the same roll. He kinda looked like him and David Arquette could have probably used the work. Well, unless he's shooting for "Scream X." Jon thought the movie was dumb, but he also thought a movie with David Schwimmer would be good. What I'm trying to say is that he's not exactly a fucking film critic.
That's all for now. Enjoy your weekend, you fuckers. I have to work.
Almost forgot...
When I don't reply in the comments, does that make people not want to read anymore? Like I'm not paying attention? I'm just really lazy. It's nothing personal. Well, I don't like some of you. It's personal then. But the rest of you, totally not personal.
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6 comments:
Highlarious.
I have a lame office job, but sometimes I feel like I need to start working retail just to toughen up and remember how much people suck.
Oh, they do suck. There's no doubt about it.
I read your post about helping your brother, and holy crap...that's dedication. What was your sister doing during that time? I asked her and she kind of avoided the question. Hmmm...
So who's this new blog enemy?
And is Kenny even back to blogging? I checked for it about a month ago when I came back and the most recent post I saw was from February.
As for not replying to comments, I wouldn't say that it makes people not want to read, though they might stop commenting. I don't really know, though.
Reminds me of that guy on campus that had that scooter thing. Ermel fixed his wheel for him and he was an asshole about it.
People do suck in offices. It's all passive aggressive though, so you can't even pinpoint the a-hole comment, but it's in there. Oh, trust me. Blog enemies... how do you kick someone's ass in the blogger world? I'd like to know!
Great post DB! Oh and thanks for the all the help on my facebook page. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to be working. I may have to try the Dimitri method of wooing if things don't pick up soon.
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