I was at a local Chinese buffet the other day with some friends from work. As I walked up to fill my belly with MSG and delicately roasted cat morsels, I noticed something different among the General Tsao's chicken and what may or may not be bbq pork. It was a cockroach about the size of a pencil eraser crawling on the bowls by the sweet and sour sauce.
At first I was disgusted. Who wouldn't be? Nobody wants to see a roach crawling across something they are about to pour delicious sweet and sour sauce into to help them better enjoy their sesame chicken balls. Then another thought popped into my head. What if somebody else saw this bug? What if somebody important saw this bug? I had a brief flashback to the day I heard they closed down my beloved China Wok. So much crying...so much crying. I can still hear the lady saying, "China Wok, how may I help youuuuuuuuu," whenever I called to place my order. I remember the smiling Asian man who would bring me my food, and how that smile would quickly fade when I shittily tipped him. Oh how I miss that place.
I wasn't about to let this happen again. I swallowed my pride (and probably an antenna or two), and when I was sure nobody was looking, I thumped the roach to the ground and stomped on it.
I don't know what I'd do if this place closed down. I think the nearest Chinese buffet is in Lufkin. LUFKIN! That's like 15 miles from here. I'm too lazy to drive 15 miles to eat. I don't even like walking across the room to go to the bathroom (but the corner is getting pretty full, so I have to.)
I don't need many things in this life. Water, air, shelter, and a Chinese buffet within five miles. This restaurant is the bamboo to my giant panda.
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2 comments:
Okay, you made me snort milk again... you should be locked up (in a comedy club).
I respect a man with priorities in his life. If we had more men like U in AMerica this would be a much better place to live and eat with roaches and rat droppings in our mist.
Stay real man!
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