I think I'm going to ask this girl out at work tomorrow. We don't exactly know each other, so that may be a problem. I've decided I'm just going to kinda spring it on her. In my head, this sounds pretty suave, but in reality, it's probably going to be pretty fucking creepy.
This approach kinda worked once before. Then she blew me off several times until I finally gave up (which was a lot of times.) I'm glad things didn't work out, though. She looked like a beetle. I'm talking about the burrowing in dung kind, not the "I wanna hold your haaaaaaaaand" kind. I'm not really sure how she looked like a beetle, but looking back, she definitely did. What does that say about me? Standards have lowered? It sure does.
So tomorrow I'm just going to randomly pounce like an ocelot of love onto her marmoset of indifference until it's fully digested and made into a turd of unity.
So yeah. I figure what the hell? I'm just going to go for it. What the worst that could happen? It could go badly? Ha! It usually goes badly when I do stuff like this, but I guess I can't be a huge, flapping poon for the rest of my life. I pray she has low expectations!
I'll stop writing about imaginary girlfriend eventually. I promise.
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2 comments:
Well, if you're gonna pounce, make sure you sneak up on her from behind. Girls -love- that.
Seriously though, good luck, man.
Beetles are sort of cute . . . or maybe that's a ladybug I am thinking of . . . Good Luck!
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