Merry Christmas

I love you all. Well, most of you. I hope you all have a great Christmas.

On this glorious Christmas day, I'll even ignore the fact that a good friend of mine failed to introduce me to or even mention the fact that she was friends with a hot science teacher who is near my age here in town. Who knows what could have happened. We could have had chemistry. Get it? 'Cause she's a science teacher? I bet she would have loved my particular brand of humor. We could have talked about sciency things like beakers and Florence flasks and whether or not God exists. Things probably would have been great. *sigh* I guess we'll never know now, will we. Oh well. Maybe next year somebody will think enough of our friendship to maybe introduce me to a hot girl that lives here in town. One can only hope. *sigh*

Mostly kidding.

MERRY CHRISTMAS. I'm going to take a pain pill and see how many times I can watch the Christmas Story before things get blurry and I start to feel sick. Then I hope the effects of the pill carry over through most of my family being here so I can sleep through it. Hope your Christmas is half as festive and enjoyable as mine.

Here's a disturbing fact for you to put things in perspective this holiday season. If you have a shitty Christmas or get bad presents, just think about poor little Judith Barsi. Judith did the voice of Duckie in Land Before Time and the voice of the orphan girl in All Dogs go to Heaven. On July 25, 1988, her dad murdered her and her mother before killing himself. So as you're opening presents that you don't like just be thankful that you're not poor little Judith. Not because her father murdered her, but because she will forever be associated with All Dogs go to Heaven. That movie was fuckin' horrible.

Stay in school. Believe in Jesus. It's his birthday.