It's been awhile

Hey there, blog friends! Wow, it's been awhile since I've been here. I guess it's time I dust off the ol' e-pen.

It appears I've finally tricked convinced a girl to go on a date with me. An actual girl this time and not like that one I made out of cans. Ah, Candice. I miss your aluminumy glow. We were having a great time until that homeless man stole you away and sold you for $1.37. Sigh...what could have been.

The girl at work and I have been talking some, and the other night I just decided to say f it and ask her out, fully expecting her to say no because I have crazy awesome self-esteem like that. When she smiled and said yes, I actually said, "yeah?"

Groucho Marx once said, "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (might be a little off on the wording there. Looking over a Groucho Marx quotations page, I learned that he was one corny son of a bitch. Moving on...) I kinda feel the same way about girls. I wanted to be like, "wait a minute...what's your deal, lady?" but I didn't. I guess it's not so hard to believe that somebody would enjoy my company (haha...I'm kidding.) So I'm convinced she's a kidney thief. It's worth the risk, though. She's pretty cute and I do have two kidneys. I probably only need one anyway. I'm just being selfish using both of them.

So we're going out this Saturday. I'm going to cook dinner (more on that in a minute) and we're going to go watch "Funny People." I was thinking about the movie first, but I don't really want to rely on Adam Sandler to set the tone for the evening. She asked me what it was about. I said, "It looks pretty funny. Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen are in it. They're stand up comedians or something. Then Adam Sandler gets cancer!" She said, "that does sound funny." If it was sarcasm, that's great. I love sarcasm. If it wasn't sarcasm, that's great too because she laughs at cancer jokes. If she laughs at that, I should be ok.

Back to the dinner thing. Some of my friends at work are telling me that cooking dinner here is a bad idea. They say she's not going to feel comfortable. I don't know about all this. I see girls as a case by case kinda thing and not some group of people who all like the same thing. I asked her the other night if it was ok if I cooked something. Then I made a joke about how I'm an amazing cook (not a joke at all). She laughed and said she had no problem with that. Last night I asked her again if she would be uncomfortable hanging out at my apartment. She again assured me that it was fine. I could look deeper into this and get into the whole "she's just being nice and doesn't really want to say anything" thing, but if I do this, I'm going to second-guess myself into a whole new world of uneasiness. So I'm just going to go with it. If I fuck it up, it'll be my fault and lesson learned.

So here's the bad (or potential bad) of this whole thing:

1. I'm moving back to Hardin in a few weeks. It's a long story and I don't really want to go, but it involves my mom taking care of my sick grandma in Nebraska and me moving home rent free to help out on some bills. Bills that are partially mine anyway. So there's that. Hardin is about two hours away from here. I'm usually too lazy to take the garbage to the dumpster that is 40 yards away, so if things end up working out, a long-distance thing probably won't.

2. She's 20. I'm 27. That might be a problem. That might not be a problem. It might be a problem mainly because she can't drink yet. Maybe she does. I dunno. Anyway, I DO...A LOT. It's my "make me interesting" juice. So I'm going to have to do all this completely sober. Ugh...the thought of that makes me cringe. At least I won't end up accidentally freezing wine again. This especially hurts because today I heard about dropping a shot of Baileys into a glass of crown and coke. Sigh...that sounds great.

3. She's Mormon. I don't know how much Mormon, but her family is. I'm not saying this is a problem either. It's just that all I know about Mormons is what I've seen on South Park, and if any of that is true, they seem pretty ridiculous. I don't know where I am religiously, but if that's a problem for her, then it's definitely not going to work. Religion is on hold for me at the moment until I figure some things out.

4. I'm going to have to clean my apartment. I've been living by myself for the better part of two months, and my standards of cleanliness are far below those of normal people. I'm actually surprised I haven't caught some form of fungus-born disease. It's so bad that the dishes in the sink have gone from smelling really bad to not smelling at all. I've outlasted the life cycle of whatever bacteria was living on the plates. And my car! I just thought about that. I'm gonna have to clean that shit too.

The good:

1. She's a girl who seems interested in me. That's pretty much all I care about. Ha! Also, she has her nose pierced and I think that's pretty cute.

So that about sums it up. Let me know what you think about the dinner idea and possible menu options.

I'm going to try to write more, but I don't know how that's going to work out. Until next time!