My own worst enemy

I entered the wonderful world of Match.com again. Jeez...every time I acknowledge that, my stomach hurts a little.

I got an email from a girl who said I seem "genuine, real and there's nothing wrong with teddy bears." In my reply, I closed with, "It's good to know that there are people out there who are ok with teddy bears. Well, unless you have some sort of weird teddy bear fetish, I guess. ;-)"

Why do I do this? I basically take a gigantic dump on 95% of the first impressions I make. While funny to me and maybe a couple people like Jon and Chase, this probably isn't going to "win the heart" of any woman. Sigh...

My second match.com interaction of the day involved a cute girl who has a kid. She talks about being a mother in her profile and how it's a pretty important part of her life. I sent her an email and opened with, "Holy crap, I'm a mom, too! What a small world. But seriously..." See, that's not even all that funny to me. I don't know why I did it. It just seemed like the thing to do.

Also, I don't know about the whole kid thing. Not that she's even acknowledged me, let alone thought about dating me. I'm not a big fan of kids. I think kids should be sent off to a camp somewhere until they aren't stupid and annoying anymore. On the first sims game before you could make kids grow up, I'd just send them to the pool. After awhile, they'd be like, "What the fuck? Where'd the ladder go? I'm sleepy." Problem solved. I know. I'm a nerd...and creepy. It's who I am.

Speaking of the sims, I've been playing the Sims 2: Apartment Life a lot lately. It's a pretty awesome game, but I feel that the simple act of playing it pretty much ensures that I'll never touch a female boob again. (The first time was a fluke. Freeze tag, third grade.)

Onto an unrelated topic. Do you ever think you're good at something only to find someone doing the exact same thing as you, only like a bajillion times better? That's how I felt when Laurie turned me on (!) to Bad News Hughes. This guy is like the Jesus of hilarious blogging. After I read about three of his entries, I didn't want to write anymore. He's disgusting and hilarious all at the same time. Basically my hero. Anyway, I bought his book and just got it in the mail today. I highly recommend you all buy this. I've only read one entry so far (I had some Madden to play.) It was about a buttplug. I lol'd the entire time.

Speaking of digusting and funny, I am the proud recipient of the Kick Ass Blogger award from my good friend "Amelia" at Writing Quiets the Voices in my Head. It's the second one she's given me. I was too lazy to post about the last one. Not that it wasn't meaningful. I'm just really lazy. Apparently she thinks that, "DB over at The Medium Bus for being the only blogger that can make me laugh and puke at the same time.He's just talented like that." Aww...isn't she sweet? If she wasn't married, I would have so awkwardly hit on her by now.

Is it just me or does this award kinda look like a penis?

I made an award for her. (Click to enlarge, ldo.)

I know what you're all saying. "Dale, you should be some sort of graphic designer!" I know, I know.