...and this little piggy didn't say shit 'cause it was a warning sign of peripheral vascular disease

For a while now, both my big toes have felt kinda weird. They've been and felt like they were asleep most of the time. I didn't think much about it. I walk a lot at work and my feet usually hurt after I get home. Also, I sleep on a "bed" that some homeless people wouldn't even consider sleeping on (believe me. I've asked.) I usually wake up with a crick in something. I just figured my toe numbness was somehow related to one of those two factors.

On Sunday, I was admiring my stunning Wilford Brimley physique in the mirror after I got out of the shower. I somehow bumped my toe on the bottom of the cabinet, and it hurt way more than it should have for such a tiny bump. I thought back to when I first noticed that my big toes were numb and realized they'd been like that for about a week and a half.

I did a quick google search of "toe numbness" and it came back with peripheral vascular disease, diabetes and frostbite. I didn't know what the first one was, so I ruled that out. I live in Texas, so the last one was out, too.

So I texted Jimmy*. I figured with all that fancy nursing school he would see that it was nothing to worry about and tell me something to put my mind at ease.

"It might be diabetes," he replied.

Diabetes has always scared the shit out of me. Anything that could bring down Nell Carter is not something I want to tangle with. Being the fatass that I've always been, I always figured I'd eat myself into some diabetes one of these days. It always seemed like a disease I'd always get. Well, that and goat herpes.

I just did a quick wikipedia search of diabetes and it says the symptoms are: excessive urine production, resulting compensatory thirst and increased fluid intake, blurred vision, unexplained weight loss, lethargy, and changes in energy metabolism.

Well, I pee a lot, drink a ton of water and have lost over 40 lbs since May. I'm not so sure about the lethargy. Lethargy - Noun - the quality or state of being drowsy and dull, listless and unenergetic, or indifferent and lazy; apathetic or sluggish inactivity. Sigh...

I should probably go to the doctor and get this checked out. Being that I'm an uninsured dreg of society, I don't know when that's going to be, though. If it's still bad by this weekend, I guess I'll go see one because, all kidding aside, I'm actually starting to get a little worried.

On a lighter note, do you guys think I could pull off wearing this shirt? I really want to buy it.

*.gif courtesy of my roommate, Jon. A fatter version of me is waddling around in the background like a hungry tapir at the zoo.