I guess I'm her Ben Stiller

There's a new girl at work who works with us for about two and a half hours a day before she leaves. She's cute and all, but I'm not particularly into her. That's why I don't understand why I'm bothered by this so much, but I fail to make her laugh...ever.

She's quick witted and kinda dirty, both fine qualities in a woman. She's funny. She says funny stuff, so I know she has a good sense of humor. Other people (far less funny than me) say some ridiculously stupid stuff and she laughs, but when I throw pure GOLD out there, I get no reaction.

Now I may not be the strongest, best looking, smartest, most attractive, cleanest, most caring, positive, happiest, in shape, articulate, well-groomed, thoughtful, most normal person out there, but I've never had a problem making people laugh. She won't crack. I've thrown most of my arsenal at her, too. I tried my bread and butter: self-deprecation. I got nothing. I threw some observational humor out there. Nothin'. I made fun of some people. I even went for a little slapstick (although not on purpose. I'm just clumsy.) Still nothing. I even made a damn good Michael J. Fox Parkinson's joke today and didn't even get a smile.

This hurts me.

She also said today that her favorite band was Tool. I was intrigued until she failed to name a single Tool song. Sigh. Maybe she's just here to taunt me. Whatever it is, I'm going to spend the first 2.5 hours of each work day being totally unproductive, but by God she's going to laugh at something eventually.

EDIT: She warmed up to me today when she realized we both spoke sarcasm. Now I all but own her soul. I don't even know what that means. It just popped into my head. I knew it couldn't be me. I mean fuck...I'm amazing. Also, I might be dead by the weekend because apparently there's a hurricane approaching. I'm pretty far north, so probably not. But hey, you never know. Hurricanes are crazy.

Hey, go here and just keep clicking random. Some funny shit in there.