Stuff

Jimmy and Khara's wedding this past weekend was pretty amazing. And surprisingly, I remember the whole thing. I don't want to get all "uncomfortable seriousness" post on you, but I'll just say that it's a pretty awesome thing to see and be close to (I mean the threesome) a relationship from the very beginning and see it result in a marriage. But seriously, probably the most perfect wedding I've ever been to. Khara wasn't demanding and seemed to have a really good time at all the party type things. Jimmy worried about pointless things like I fully expected him to. But that's why we love the guy.

The groomsmen, well, we drank enough to kill a horse faster than two broken front ankles. Are Eight Belles jokes still topical? I hope. I'm surprised none of us had to be put down. That part was pretty great.

Also, I held the attention of an attractive girl for a quite awhile without the aid of shiny or jingly things. I've figured out my problem with talking to women. All the ones I've tried to carry on conversations have been sober! Silly me. I've been going about it all wrong. Drunk girls think I'm funny. I'm pretty sure when asked about myself, I led off the conversation with, "Well, I got my first period when I was 11." Drunk girls apparently love that shit. Who knew!

Yeah, things were going pretty well for me at that bar we went to until the cock block brigade showed up. Apparently the vast expanse of unoccupied couches weren't enough for them. "Hey, Dale is having a great time with a hot girl. Better put a stop to this shit..." Sigh. Oh well. It was pretty great nonetheless. Well, it was until the night ended due to last call and a tragic jitterbuging accident resulting in me catching an elbow to the face.

And last and definitely least, I've just got to mention my good pal, the fuckin' reverend, Kenny. Normally, this guy could eat a bag of piping hot dicks, but I have to give him some props for showing up at the wedding wearing the sweetest suit this side of Flavor Flav. Seriously. This was a great suit. It was like a Houston Oiler and a Smurf made an awesome pinstriped baby, and Kenny made a suit from its skin. When am I going to get those pictures, douche? Soon, I hope.

Jon has a much more detailed account of this weekend's events. I'll post a link when he's done.

If this post doesn't make much sense or is formatted oddly, well...I intended to have a drink to help me go to sleep. That drink turned into some drinks. Have a great night/day all.