Contemplating fitness

With my never ending search for the future Mrs. DB in full swing at the moment and with Jimmy's wedding quickly approaching, I thought that maybe I should get in shape. Well, be less fat.

I'm not really going about the girlfriend thing the right way. I should be presenting the best possible DB, not the guy who literally did a celebration dance the other day when McDonalds accidentally gave him two extra hamburgers. I mean, if you're trying to sell a house you don't shit in the hallway on the day you're showing it, right? So why am I playing "how many Dr. Peppers can I drink in an hour?" It's not a smart move. But then again, I'm not a very smart man. (Kidding. I'm a less motorized/Lou Gehrigy Stephen Hawking.)

I should probably be a little thinner for Jim's wedding too. Most people will be watching me the entire time. I'm basically the most important person at the wedding, bride and groom included. I need to slim down a bit too so I can easily escape after I give my best man speech. And by escape, I mean with some of Jimmy's hot girl cousins to my room after I wow their clothes off with my awesome oratory skills. I assume I'll have a room, Jimmy? I also assume that somewhere in the depths of Wisconsin you have a hot girl cousin?

So back to my girlfriend search. I finally finished my profile with the help of my lovely and talented friend Laurie. I needed a smart, attractive woman's feedback since that's what I'm shooting for. A side note: I'm pretty sure she wants to date me now. Can't say that I blame her.

So anyway, here it is. Tell me what you think. Guys, don't you go turning gay on me. It's probably that powerful. Give me feedback. And yes, I stole my tagline from that story you told me, Jess. Well, I paraphrased it. I think.

We can pretend we met somewhere else

I can crack an egg into a bowl with one hand without getting any shells. I know, I know...pretty amazing. I should stop there because I'm sure your expectations have been exceeded, but I'll keep going.

I'm a pretty laid back guy whose ideal night involves kicking back on the couch and watching a movie with some friends, but if the Steelers happen to be playing, I won't lie: I'll be watching them.

I enjoy cooking, especially the challenge of cooking new things that I'm unfamiliar with. I like most things associated with food (see picture. I had to check "a few extra pounds" because they didn't have the "like a big teddy bear" option.) And I like a woman who never says, "I'll just have a salad."

I was the managing editor of a small town newspaper, but I decided there was more money to be made being a college student, so I just moved back to the area to finish my journalism degree.

I'm looking for a woman who enjoys laughing, whether it's with me or at me, both are fine. A woman who enjoys sports, or at least doesn't mind watching them from time to time. Someone who sees the humor in things and doesn't take life too seriously. Most importantly, a woman who is comfortable with who she is.